New Year, New Me!!

-- Bull sh*t. I don't know how many times I have heard people say new year new me in the past few weeks, and I can't even explain how much the saying makes me mad. Like not raging, steam coming out of my ears mad, but more like a disappointed mad because even though those people might have good intentions I just can't help but thing that their resolutions wont get finished. Like, why is the beginning of a new year so special? Is it because it has so much more potential than the rest of the year? Because it's a fresh start, a new beginning? It's really not any different than starting something in the middle of the year. You need to have the motivation to do it in the first place; a resolution won't just automatically be achieved if it's started at the beginning of the year, the person needs to be motivated in achieving it. We all know how people say that this year is different and that they'll keep with their resolutions, but according to staticbrain.com only 8% of people who make resolutions are actually successful in achieving them (yes, I looked it up - I was curious.)

I have never really been one to make resolutions, maybe I've told myself that I'll lose some weight or that I'll finally learn how to crochet, but nothing really extreme. I think this is because I've never really had any bad habits to kick or good habits that I should pick up (okay, I could probably eat more vegetables), but I've just never really understood why people need to change so much at the beginning of the year. I've noticed things about me in the middle of the year that I need to change and instead of telling myself that that should be my new years resolution, I make a resolution then to change it then and there instead of putting off and making it a harder thing to change once the new year rolls around.

I started changing the way I did things in the middle of last year when it started getting bad. Things have changed so much in the past year because of this, I've lost friends I thought would be my friends forever, I changed my major because classes were stressing me out so much, and I changed the way I do my school work because nothing ever got done- all three of these things caused major stress in my life to the point where I slept all day and my hair was falling out in clumps. This being said, I have gained better friends and built better relationships with the people that care about me, I'm back on track with school, and I am much happier overall.

Now that the toxic people are (mostly) out of my life I am a better person, not only to other people, but to myself as well. I no longer let other people drag me down and I am focusing on making my thoughts heard and not put things that are bothering me on the back burner and bottling them up until I'm bursting at the seams. I am so much happier- and my hair stopped falling out.

"I used to be afraid of all the things I couldn't keep.
I used to be afraid of all the things I couldn't change.
I used to be afraid. I can change."

-Transit, I Told You So